The Best Yet Hardest Week of My Life

Hello again everyone, I appreciate all of you that have reached out to me with encouraging words and anticipation for the rest of this story.  I most certainly have not forgotten or given up, life happens and sadly it has been quite hectic and on the go for the past two months.  I know many of you have been asking for the next post so let’s dive right in. 

The drive from Hot Springs, Arkansas to home (Fargo, North Dakota) is a long drive in general, 1,021 miles to be exact.  This particular drive seemed like an absolute eternity.  My brain could not stop replaying every moment of our time in Arkansas.  Every lie we had been told by Chet kept replaying as I continued to try to navigate what involvement I was now sure he had in Mom’s death.  Jackie was a true rock and saving grace, I am very thankful I did not have to spend those 16 hours alone.  We spent a lot of time talking about what actions we could take or should take as far as Chet being at the wedding. At this point no one outside of my wife, Sister and David (her husband), and my brother knew how much deception was being thrown around by Chet.  I am extremely grateful for the strength of my Sister, Kayla.  I told her it was my desire to progress through the wedding day before making some of this public and confronting Chet any further.  She showed a level of restraint that I never expected and did it very well.  I know the amount of anger that must have been brewing ready to boil over within her as well.  At the end of the day, I wanted what was left of my family to be able to enjoy being together one last time without any infighting.  I also wanted this day to be about Jackie and I, not convoluted with Jerry Springer style arguments.  As I suspected, our wedding day quite likely was the last time I will see some family members and that is another unfortunate byproduct of Chet’s lies. 

Thankfully, Jackie and I were able to set aside much of the adversity facing us during this week.  It really was one of the best weeks of my life.  The hardest part about this week was continually analyzing everything Chet said to me; literally everything.  For instance, on August 16^th 2020, I had no confirmation, or confidence for that matter, that mom and dad had purchased their plane tickets for the wedding August 29^th.   I text both mom and dad in a group text and told them pointedly I needed to know where they were standing on travel plans.  If you remember from post 1 & 2, this was around the time that I was continually reaching out to mom and had threatened a welfare check.  I sent a series of texts outlining the week of the wedding and expectations.  Chet responded equally as short and pointedly stating “yes I have rooms and tickets booked.” I told him I needed more specific details than that, what time are you flying in?  What airline?  We need to know because we have a very busy day and want to make sure we can pick them up or have a ride for them.  All I got in return was “Thursday, only need one room”.   I then called our hotel where we had our block of rooms to verify that he indeed had a room reserved.  They did have a reservation for Chet.  I still never got confirmation on the flights.  Now this date is very intriguing to me in hindsight.  This was the day before mom was found deceased.  Since we really do not have an accurate time of death, it is heartbreaking to think that at the very time this conversation was taking place she could have already passed.  She could have been laying there in that bed, alone and already cold, while Chet was again carrying on as though everything was just fine.  Continuing to lead all of us to believe that they would both be there in two weeks for the wedding.  I bring this up because the Tuesday of wedding, week when Jackie and I were again arranging for the timeline of when people would arrive,  I had to have a similar conversation with Chet.  He changed his plan and decided to drive to Minnesota with his father who had driven to Arkansas.  He told me that he was able to cancel his original flight to the wedding and drive with his dad instead and that he would then just buy a one way ticket back to Arkansas the Sunday after the wedding.  This instantly made me question whether he even had the tickets booked for Mom and him in the first place.  I firmly believe that he did not, because I believe that he knew all along that she would not be alive for the wedding.  This is something I searched for ways to prove, as I believed it would aid us in our talks with the Lawyer and Hot Springs Detective.  Unfortunately, aside from gaining access to financial records there is no way to confirm this.  I could not shake the feeling that Chet felt the mounting pressure of everyone wondering where Mom was, why no one could get ahold of her, and so much more.  I believe it is no coincidence that he “found” her dead the very next day.  With everything inside me I believe fully that he knew she was already dead, or set in motion her final moments that night. 

By far the hardest part of wedding week was Thursday night.  Jackie and I had planned to have family over to our home for a night of grilling, games and smores.  It was awesome to have my family in the area because they are so incredibly spread across the country.  The hard part was hiding my growing anger at Chet.  It was so nice to have his dad, my grandpa rich and his wife lori there.  It breaks my heart that I will likely not get to see them again.  All in all, we had a wonderful time.  Again, my senses were on high alert however.  I overanalyzed every move Chet made and every word he said.  It took everything in me not to throw questions his way about his girlfriend or things I knew he was lying about.  I did make a point to ask him who he had arranged for taking care of his dogs.  I don’t remember his exact answer but it didn’t matter, I did not believe a word coming from him at this point.  There was a significant amount of time toward the end of the night where most of us were engaging with each other and talking about who knows what.  Chet on the other hand secluded himself in another room on the couch by himself.  He had to be over there for nearly an hour or maybe more, all alone buried in his phone.  There was even a time where he went outside on our deck for a while to take a phone call.  Jackie and I knew who he was on the phone with, and it was later after they left ND that it was confirmed to be BN.  It bothered by that in my home, when he was there with our family, he could not cut ties for just a few hours to be with us.  She was clearly the focus of his attention. 

Many months after the wedding had passed, I was informed of a story that took place this night.  A close family member had invited Chet down to the hotel bar and grill, so he was not alone that night.  He agreed to meet this person down there.  As this family member made their way to the bar, they noticed Chet walking near the pool close to the bar.  They went to approach him thinking they would meet up, but then noticed he was on the phone again.  The family member heard Chet say “ok I love you and I will see you when I get home.” This was obviously noticed and questioned because Mom was the only family Chet had in Arkansas.  Later, when Chet and BN’s affair became public the family member confronted Chet and asked if that was who he was talking to this night and he shockingly admitted to it being BN.  Which goes to show he was to the point where he clearly could not keep his lies in order.  Because he also insistently told this same family member that Kayla and I had completely over blown BN and that they were not together!  Well if that were the case then why would you say “I love you and I will see you when I get home.” Again, I am losing count of the amount of times I have to sit back and ask myself “does he really think people believe the words coming out of his mouth”?  Sadly, there are some that do. 

Friday and Saturday were amazing days of laughter, love and even some crying.  The wedding was everything Jackie and I wanted.  The reception was an absolute blast with family and friends and we felt overwhelming support from everyone there with us.  As the night progressed some things are worth mentioned for context.  The first event to note was Chet’s “fatherly speech”.  Again a time where it took Jackie and I’s every ounce of self-control to hide our true emotions.  Chet spoke briefly on the importance of a husband and wife making time for each other and investing in their relationship.  My stomach was turning as we listened.  This man had the audacity to speak to me about caring for my spouse and he at a bare minimum left his wife to die alone with no one to help her in her literal time of need.  At worst, hand a personal hand in her death.  Thankfully Jackie brought me back to the reality that this was our day and he was not going to ruin any of it.  The second is a series of events that transpired after Chet had a few drinks.  He was dancing with some of the women there.  Which wasn’t in itself out of sorts, it was a wedding dance after all.  However, I did catch the tail end of an altercation between Kayla and Chet.  Now like I mentioned, Kayla had kept her composure extremely well through the week and wedding weekend but clearly she had seen enough.  There was something about the way Chet was acting that completely pushed her over the edge and honestly, I do not blame her in any way.  His actions were truly disgusting to us familiar with the situation.  I’m sure they seemed harmless to everyone else but to us it was an absolute disgrace.  It was apparent that Chet was getting somewhat handsy with one dance and Kayla saw it and was not going to let it slide.  He had spent much of the night telling us and others how hard it was to be there at the wedding without Mom.  But actions certainly do speak louder than words.  And speaking of words, his words also were alarming.  At some point during the confrontation with Kayla, he even stated “your mom is gone, it’s perfectly ok for me to move on”.  Wow, other than who the hell says that just 12 days after their wife of 20 years passes, he just said that to the wrong person.  Kayla let him have it as he deserved.  Kayla and I are truly blessed with the significant others in our lives.  We are perfect matches that know how to balance the other out.  Kayla’s boyfriend quickly defused the situation as much as possible and calmed her.  Side note – but probably the only person I have ever known to be able to actually do that with Kayla.  Kayla text me when they got back to their Air BnB and apologized, she thought she had done something wrong but I quickly responded and told her that it could not be ignored, there was no need to apologize.   I looked back at our messaged from that night to ensure accuracy.  She apologized for not just walking away.  She said “I really just wanted to get through the night but I didn’t think getting through the night would include watching him grope and flirt with women”.  I again reassured her that there was nothing to apologize for.  After that instance, Chet, Grandma and Grandpa on his side found Jackie and I and said they were calling it a night.  They were driving the next day so it was a difficult goodbye.  I hugged grandpa and grandma, that was another difficult moment because I knew when many of the bad details about Chet came out it would likely cut my ties with them.  I didn’t even bother hugging Chet, I shook his hand and told him “we will chat this week when you get home”.  He was clearly drunk, which again is what it is, so was I but it was not like him.  With that out of the way, jackie and I went back to the party to round out the night, and what a night it was! 

The last thing I will discuss came to light on Sunday.  After we had a good brunch with family, minus Chet, thankfully he left early that morning, Jackie and I went home for a few hours to relax and yes recover.  We had plans to meet Kayla, David and the kiddos at space aliens for dinner but needed a nap.  It was during the afternoon that we discovered there was a GoFundMe account set up for Chet in Arkansas by one of his racing companions.  This infuriated Kayla and I.  To refresh or again add context, my mother was in college pursuing a master’s degree and did not work consistently at a job.  She would pick up odd jobs or assist her Church and Champion College every now and again.  However, she was in no real way a financial contributor to the household income between her and Chet.  Also, remember from Post #3, we were all informed at the memorial service that ALL expenses had been anonymously paid in full for the funeral.  This was verified by my sister and I, there were zero outstanding balances with any services provided throughout mom’s death.  The GoFundMe established for Chet on the other hand explicitly listed “Family Funeral Expenses” in the title, and in the additional details stated “Chet Johnson’s wife passed away unexpectedly… All funds will be given to Chet to help him during this time”.  Kayla immediately reached out to the organizer of the account and I reported the account to the GoFundMe organization as fraud.  I further had to substantiate this by showing that I was Julie’s eldest son and that there were no funeral costs so I had concerns about the validity of gathering donations for such a cause.  The go fund me was temporarily removed but there were over $950 dollars donated.  Now I consider myself to be a reasonable person, I understand that many times there are extenuating circumstances, lost wages, lost income from the loss of a spouse, additional bills but this was not the case with Chet.  He made what most of us would consider a comfortable living, and with mom gone, did not see a drop off in household income, because she did not have a steady job.  It became clear that Chet had made it clear to others that this was a difficult time for him financially, but there were absolutely no outstanding funeral costs and never any that were paid out of his pocket.  From our perspective this was yet another in the long, growing, list of lies.  Chet even shared the GoFundMe link on his facebook page soliciting additional donations.  He had no guilty conscious misleading people into thinking mom’s death financially impacted him or that there were lingering funeral expenses.  That put us over the edge.  I will wrap up this post here, the Sunday after our wedding.  The next week things take a turn for the worst in regards to Chet and I.  More lies are uncovered and he begins to show his true colors.  I hope that many of you are still with us for the next post.  I am interested to hear your thoughts as readers and bystanders as to some of what transpired over the next week.  We have our suspicions as to the “why” some of these next things took place but again, I will do my best to simply lay out the facts and clearly outline my opinions vs those facts.  I want to hear what your conclusions are.