What Did He Not Want Us To See???

Alright everyone, this is one post where I will do my very best to outline things that are facts vs opinions I drew from actions that Chet took.  The first two weeks after this were rather interesting. This was the beginning of the end (officially) between Chet and I.  I believe I had done everything I could to give him a chance to address some of the questions that I and others had.  However, at every opportunity he chose to lie again and again and we were done hearing the lies.  To refresh everyone’s memory from post #3, when we were taking some time to go through mom’s belongings Chet told us kids that we could take anything we wanted, and I was dead set on leaving with Mom’s computer and Ipad.  

The week following our wedding Jackie and I were slowly returning to our normal work routine.  This was my first week back in my office in essentially a month due to some obligations followed by Mom’s death and the wedding.  On Tuesday morning (September 1^st)  Chet sent Kayla, Nicholas and I a group text message that read this:

“ I’m starting to go through things little by little.  Mom’s iPad was in a drawer in the living room and it is not there.  Also, her laptop isn’t in the office.  Did you guys see either of these?  They have pictures and files I need desperately… Thinking and praying for all of you today”

This guy was legitimately going on like none of us knew that he had been lying to us for the past month.  I think he really believed still that he had gotten away with it all and we were none the wiser.  That we believed every lie he had laid out.  I was also so incredibly angry to hear him admit that he knew exactly where mom’s ipad was – in that drawer.  He knew that she didn’t have her phone, he knew that the ipad was at the house and he couldn’t bring that to her to communicate??? My mind again went zero to worst case scenario.  One of my biggest questions remained “did Chet purposefully keep my mother from all forms of communication so she couldn’t call for help?”  He clearly could have helped her himself but at a minimum given her the means to have at least one way of reaching the outside world but he didn’t.  Now a good friend that I had began talking to was attempting to play devils advocate and said “maybe he put it in the drawer after she died and she did have it in the bedroom”. I thought about it but I do not believe that is the case. Possible, maybe so, but I think he knew where it was all along and left it there. I didn’t know how I wanted to respond yet.  My phone buzzed with another notification shortly after I read the message.  One that indicated that Kayla had left the conversation.  I’m sure that said enough in itself after the wedding blow up.  I have to believe Chet knew where he stood with her.  Honestly, I was surprised that he had the gall to reach out to her. 

                One of the issues I was faced with was that I did not know the password to mom’s computer.  I thought about asking Chet for it but was also somewhat confident that between all of us kids, we could probably figure it out.  Mom was not all that imaginative or secure with her passwords.  I chose not to respond to Chet’s initial message.  I was going to have an actual conversation with him about the computer and tell him that I have it.  However, I wasn’t going to let that be a conversation over text message, because I wanted him to answer me directly and immediately, not have time to think for more lies.  That week I tried to reach out to him a few times during the week and he did not answer and did not return my calls.  I let it slide until he wanted to push the issue. 

                One week later, on Tuesday, September 8^th he decided to do just that.  Nicholas and I received another text message from Chet that read:

“Did anyone see moms computer at the house? I have to have it for her school stuff.  If not I’ll have to report it as stolen and tracked by the serial number.  I can’t handle her school stuff or two of our utilities without it… Love you guys. ”  

The three words made my stomach turn.  Again, here he was just going along like nothing was wrong and we were all still just a strong family grieving mom’s death. I also could not help but question everything he said now.  I did not believe that he needed the computer to access any of her school stuff.  He certainly did not need it to access any of the utility bills.  If he truly needed that I have full confidence that he could prove his residency and show them the death certificate.

I called Chet and this time he did answer.  I told him right away that I have Mom’s computer.  He seemed aggravated right away.  He asked why I would have taken it?  I was upfront and honest with him.  I reminded him that I told him when I was in Arkansas that I was not done digging into some serious questions that I have.  I knew he was lying to me about many things that I had asked him about and that I did not trust him to answer any of my questions honestly.  He interjected and told me that mom’s computer was not mine to take and that I essentially stole it because he paid for it.  He said “why on earth would you just take it?  I would have given you any of the pictures off of it”.  I told him that it is very evident that there is more going on than what he was willing to let on.  I wanted the ability to look through her computer before he had the chance to pre-screen and delete things that he may not want anyone else to see.  He was growing more aggressive at this point.  He told me that he needs it to access some things for mom’s school stuff.  At this point I offered him a compromise.  I told him that if he gives me the password to the computer, I will give him everything he needs.  I even offered to return the computer after I had the chance to look through everything.  He was back tracking now and insisted that he didn’t know the password but he would be able to get into the computer with his fingerprint.  Fun fact, I knew this was a lie because the computer said it needed the password before fingerprint unlock was usable.  He insisted that I need to send the computer to him immediately he has to have it by Friday and no later. 

I told him that I’m not an idiot.  If he needs to access anything for mom on the college side of things he can call Liberty University and explain the situation to them, I know they would be more than willing to work with him given the circumstances.  I also told him that I did not believe that mom was in charge of any of their utilities or that she was the only person with access.  I knew that by in large, he was the one in charge of all of the bills because he was the only one that worked.  If he wanted to keep lying that was his choice but I’m not believing any of this.  I pointed out that he also said now that he needed the computer for two different reasons.  His first message said he needed pictures and files from it but now he all the sudden needs it for utility bills and her school stuff?? For reference for the readers, it is not like this was the one and only computer that they owned.  Chet has his own computer and Ipad that he uses.  I again told him that if he gives me the chance to look through the computer I will send it back once I have the ability to save things from it.  He was very angry and direct by this point and told me that it must be back in his possession by Friday at the latest.  He kept saying “I need that by Friday at noon at the latest”.  This really intrigued me?  I asked him “why on earth do you need this so badly by a specific deadline?”  He again deferred to the fact that he needed it to figure things out with mom’s school.  I told him I don’t believe him and that I will not be sending the computer back.  He told me that it will be back in Arkansas by Friday and that he had to go.  That was the end of our phone conversation as I remember it and from the notes that I took. 

Now at this point a few things were going through my mind.  The first thought was why on earth would he insistently need this thing back so badly by such a specific date?  My initial thought was that he must be hiding something from me.  There must be something on there that he is either fearful mom had on there or fearful that we would find on there.  Now I fully realize that I was grasping at straws and looking at this situation through a very biased lens.  I obviously wanted there to be something to find, I wanted the answers to be somewhere.  My second thought, when I tried to be a little more objective, was that maybe he needed money.  Maybe he needed money so badly by a specific deadline that he intended to sell anything of value and this was something he thought he could get a quick grand or so in cash.  However, I also knew that there were various fund raisers going on for him also so I kept spinning back to what in the world is he hiding.  I remembered that mom at some point before she was completely immobilized was using her computer to type letters to Chet. Maybe she was keeping notes or other things on here that he was aware of. 

My wandering was interrupted by another message from Chet “It needs to go out in the mail tomorrow regardless.  It is not a discussion.” My response was short and direct “It won’t be.” He quickly sent another message saying “if not I’ll have no choice but to report it stolen and let them know it is in your possession.  It wasn’t yours to take.  I would’ve given you any pictures off it or anything else.  I don’t want to do that, but you essentially stole it.  It was not yours to take.  I love you son but it has to get out early in the morning.”  Followed by another message saying “before 11 am tomorrow preferably so it gets here.  I need a tracking number by no later than noon please, that is your deadline.”  I returned to work and tried to not think about things for a while, so I did not respond to his messages, I said what I needed to for the most part and made it clear I was not going to send it back until I was done with it.  My lack of acknowledging his messages must not have set well with him.  After about an hour, I received a screenshot of the North Dakota National Guard’s Contact Us page of their website.  He sent that with a message that said “I don’t want to take this any further, but I’m sure the Army leadership would want to know if you are being accused of stealing property” (for any reader that is not personally aware of me, I am on active duty for the North Dakota Army National Guard and that is my full time employment). 

At this point I was getting angry with him and did respond with a lengthy message that read:

“You may take whatever action you feel is necessary.  However, you chose to leave a large part of your life and your responsibility from mom when you began a separate relationship and neglected her.  And then you lied to the family and to my face when confronted about it.  You essentially left mom, all of us children agree and do not believe that you just get to sneak back in after she died and claim everything as yours.  What exactly do you need off of there, I will get it to you.  It seems to us that there is something suspicious about you needing this so badly.  You said take what you want, So I did.  I want to know what’s on there that you are hiding.  You are not a good liar.  My reputation in the Army will speak for itself and speak volumes over your many lies.  You don’t even realize how badly you are ruining your life with your actions.  Once the lies stop we can talk about you getting what you want.”

That message by me was sent at 2:37 pm.  I was growing a little worrisome that he would lie to my bosses about something outlandish because at this point all he seemed to do was lie.  It was embarrassing that I had to pre-emptively bring this into my working environment.  A lot of things about mom’s death at that point were not public and it is not like I was out there airing the family drama.  It was frustrating that I had to explain to my superiors that if a complaint were to come in about me that it was likely not at all true, or at the very least extremely misconstrued.  At 4:25 pm the only response that I got from him was “The computer needs to go out tomorrow.”  I did not respond any further to him.

                I kept attempting to get access to the computer.  I called the apple help desk which was also very frustrating.  I told them that I have my mother’s computer and that she had unexpectedly passed away.  They were sympathetic but ultimately told me that they could not give me access to her computer remotely and I could not have access to her I cloud account because Chester had already gained access.  Legally, even though I was a next of kin, because Chet and her were married he was the primary next of kin and took priority on access to her data. 

                On the Friday of that week, with assistance from my sister Shaniya we were able to get into Mom’s computer.  She was the password wizard that solved our puzzle.  The computer had many applications and internet browser tabs open.  I first looked through the photos.  It was good to see that many of the older pictures were on there still.  What I really wanted to see was the history of her text messages and browser history.  Unfortunately that required a connection to the internet.  As soon as I connected to my home wifi the computer initiated a shut down and when it restarted it was completely locked and hard reset with nothing remaining on it.  I was disheartened but I was pretty much expecting something like this to happen based on the actions that Chet had taken. 

                My mind kept returning to the fact that there had to be something on the computer that he absolutely did not want anyone to see.  That is where everything led my brain to.  Now, the other clear option is that Chet was so angry that he just wanted to spite me and my siblings.  Something essentially along the lines of “well if I can’t have the computer then I will at least make it to where it is useless for them also”.  This is entirely possible, but if he was saying “I would have given you anything off of the computer” then what was he unwilling to let us see??? I may be crazy, or I may just be so biased that I need to believe he was hiding something but that is exactly what I believe.  I firmly believe there was something on there that he absolutely did not want getting out or he was so afraid there would be something on there from mom that he couldn’t even take the risk of something being on there.  Based on how suspicious he was about her cell phone, I’m convinced there was something he was hiding that I may never see now.  I attempted to call Chet, surprise surprise, no answer.                 As I mentioned and for additional disclaimer, I have saved all of the text messaged that are quoted in all of the posts.  I have notes taken throughout various events and display the phone conversations as accurately to quotations as possible.  I also walked out of Chet’s house when we left Arkansas with my mom’s computer in my hand.  I literally walked right past Chet with that and other items as I took them to my car.  I assumed he would eventually ask about the computer but never guessed that he would report it as “stolen”.  Although, I have nothing in writing from him stating we can take “anything we want” from the house.  This is verifiable by five family members that were in the home when Chet said on multiple occasions “I want you guys to have anything you want of Mom’s” and also said more than a few times “I will give you kids the first chance at anything before I ever get rid of or sell anything”.